Blinddate
by PenPusher4
Summary: What happens when Cell searches a women for himself through a dating agency ?...RR !...PS: Slightly crazy XD.........CHAPTER 4 !
1. There´s hope

Disclaimer: I don´t own DBZ

_Kursiv: What someone does or thinks_

Normal: What someone says

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Cell - _walks through any town_  
_notices a poster, which he eyes interested_

On it stood:

You're alone but don't want to anymore? You search and search, and simply haven't found Mrs./Mr. Right yet? Then Fuck-Delivery © can help you!

Thanks to the latest technology we help you find the right one. Just come to one of our shops, and we'll see what we can do for you!

Cell- ..._sounds interesting..._

_Walks into the street where the shop is supposed to be, trusting the poster._

_Enters the shop._

Cell- Hello, I'm here because –

Assistant - I know, I know. Because of the advertisement.

Cell- And I-

Assistant - And now you want to know what the whole matter about this "new technology" is.

Cell- Yes. _Says nothing more, because he's freaked out by the mind reading assistant._

Assistant- Ok, easy as that. We ask you a few questions about your personality, then we type it into the computer, and we then arrange a date with the one that matches you best, and-

Cell- _seemingly confused _Huh!

Assistant- What is there to "huh" about!

Cell- What the heck is a blind date?

Assistant- _bewildered of the ignorance_ ok, dude…so a blind date is-

Cell- Ah, now I got it! You just arrange dates with blind women here! _proud of his realization _

_ponders a few seconds with a wry angled head _(A/N: ...Aw!) So are there existing mute- and deaf dates too? And what about wheelchair dates?

Assistant: Arghh! _hits the wall with his head_

WAY.TOO.MUCH.DUMBNESS _head collides with the wall at each word_

Cell- Uh-o...

Assistant- _foam is visibly coming out of his mouth and he begins growl_

Female Assistant: _comes running out of a backdoor, armed with a water pistol_

_turns to Cell _It's not your fault, this happens every now and then.

Cell-...oooooookay...

Female Assistant: _splashes water on the mad dog-like assistant_

Bad John! Very bad John!

John- _whimpers like a puppy_

Female Assistant: _locks John in a cage_

Go into it you bad, bad boy!

_turns to Cell, seemingly exhausted_

_slightly out of breath _How may I help you ?

Cell- uh...I'm here because of the advertisement, but you don't have to explain though, your colleague _—John howls at his mention in the cage— _has already told me.

Female Assistant- Good, then we may start with the questioning.

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	2. Questions and Answers

Disclaimer : I don´t own DBZ

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30 minutes later...

Female Assistant- ok, finished...let's repeat everything:

Your name is Cell

Cell- Right

Your nickname is also Cell

Your hobbies are: fighting, torture and suck out humans,_ —makes chocking_ _sound— _standing around and reaching perfection

Cell- Indeed

Things you like are: fighting, training, torture and suck out humans _—chocking_ _sounds grow louder— _standing around, reaching perfection and perfection

Cell- yes

Things you don't like are: losing, Son Goku, I quote: "The crappy worm Gohan" _—_

Cell-_interrupts her _May you change that into "the crappy worm-that-can't-fight-fair-and-just-had-luck Gohan" ?

Female Assistant- Sure_ types the new information in _

Let's continue

How you would describe yourself: perfect

Cell- _grins_ he he right

Female Assistant- Don't you think that this isn't enough?

Cell- Why? It's pretty good this way

And what should women think of, if they read this?

Cell- _confident_ Me, of course

Female Assistant- _I should have knew_...Would it be too much if I ask for more adjectives?

Cell- Not really...ok, let's think... how about: tall, strong, handsome? _Assistant rolls with her eyes_

Female Assistant- An improvement

Cell: One question: does "invincible" sound too cocky?

Female Assistant- A bit, yes

Cell- Then please add "almost invincible"

_clears his throat and turns a bit red _...and maybe "persevering"?

Female Assistant- _swallows up _

Cell- _worried _Everything's alright ?

Female Assistant- _coughs a bit _It's ok

Now, the last point:

How the woman of your dreams should be: able to look after herself, autonomous, intelligent, creative, funny-

Cell- May you add-

Female Assistant-I know… if I may add "pretty"

Cell-_ Damn...is everyone in this shop able to read minds!_

Female Assistant- So, we're finished already. We'll call you, when we've found your match.

Cell- And why am I not passed on instantly?

Female Assistant: Simple: There's no match for you in the whole data base. Though there are many requests for men like you, there is not a single woman that fulfills your criteria.

Cell- Oh, okay..._lifts hand and waves with index and middle finger_ Bye!

_Leaves the shop_

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	3. Questions and Answers 2

Disclaimer : I don´t own DBZ

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18- _Walks through the same town like Cell Why aren't there any guys near you when you need one BADLY!_

A piece of paper flies right into her face.

18- _angry _They can't put away their trash! This is already flying in my face, dammit!

About to throw the paper away.

18- Wait a sec…what stands there about guys you can meet?

Runs to the next shop of Fuck-Delivery (C).

18- _rips the door open _

Female Assistant- _surprised_

18- Where are they!

Female Assistant- _out questioned _Who?

18- Them! _Holds up flier_

Female Assistant- Ah…I see...You're talking about our services-

18- However your "latest technology" works, do it quickly - PLEASE! _Bursts out into tears and sits down on a chair, crying_ I hadn't had a guy for eternities! I´M IN DIRE NEED

Female Assistant-_ shocked _There, there...I'll see what I can do…but if you will just calm down.

18- _calms down and stops crying in an instant _Ok, what I gotta do ?

Female Assistant- _explains the processes and all worth knowing (_A/N: Heck no! They talked about discounts!)

1 hour later...

Female Assistant: ...no kidding, 50 percents off of all leather goods!

18- It's incredible how well you're informed!

Female Assistant: Oh stop being so formal. Just call me Dolores.

18- Okay, Dolores. We really have to go shopping sometime...

Female Assistant- What a wonderful idea

3 hours and 30 minutes later...

Female Assistant- How pleasant such a little conversation can be now and then!

18- Yeah, you're right

Female Assistant- ...uh I guess we should start the questioning now...

18- Oh right…the reason why I came here in the first place..

30 minutes later...

Dolores- Good...so your name is 18

18- Yes

And that also is your nickname

18- Indeed

You hobbies are: fighting, training, torture humans and going shopping

18- That's right

Things you like are: 17 and shopping tours

18- Right

Things you don't like are: Son Goku, Vegeta, Gero, being absorbed and Cell

18- _slightly disgusted _Yes

How you would describe yourself: able to look after herself, autonomous, intelligent, creative, funny and pretty

18- _interrupts her_ Do you think this sounds too bragging?

Dolores- _smiles cheerfully _Not when it's the truth

18- _flattered_ Thanks

Dolores- You're welcome…and the last point: How the man of your dreams should be: tall, strong, handsome_—_

18- _interrupts her again_ What do you think? Do I ask for too much when I search for a guy who's "invincible"?

Dolores- I understand your problem...we'd better type in "almost invincible", shall we?

18- Thanks that would be great

Dolores- _pleased_ Very good, then we're through with i-

18- _interrupts her AGAIN this time, however, not without becoming red_ and what do you think my chances to find somebody will be, when you add…um..."persevering"?

Dolores- _smiles sympathetically_ The search might become hard then…but it's worth a try I guess...

18- Thank you very much

Dolores- _gives a gesture of refusal_ Oh please...it's my job after all...Fine that's it now...I'll call you.

18- _Goes to the door turns around _Thanks again _leaves the shop_

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Note: Hope enjoyed : ) Review !

Note 2: Hopefully everyone of you knows by now, who´s Cell´s Mrs.Right..


	4. In re women

Disclaimer: I don´t own DBZ

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Cell -_stands around in his motel room and meditates_

Telephone rings

Cell -_answers the phone _Yes ?

Dolores- Hello, I´m calling because Fuck-Delivery just found your Mrs.Right !

Cell- _unbelieving and delighted at the same time _Really ?

Dolores-_ would I call him otherwise ! _Of course, when I tell-

Cell- _anxious, so he interrupts her _wantonly Who is it ? _calms down a bit, sounds slightly longing now _...and what´s she like ..?

Dolores- Sorry, but I´m not allowed to tell you; data privacy protection...The only thing you´re supposed to know is the meeting point.

Tells him meeting point and time.

Cell- You can count on me ! I´ll be there !

Dolores-_ I won´t expect anything else...for his sake..it was already hard enough actually finding a match..._Nice to hear..Hope to hear the last of you-

Cell- Please wait a second

Dolores- Yeah ? I´m listening ? Good god..what comes now ?

Cell-_ slightling embarrassed, that he actually has to ask someone for advice ..._you know,..I´m insincere on which flowers I should buy for her...

Dolores-_ laughs _SO this is what the whole thing is about...ok then,...tell me, what were you thinking of ?

Cell- Well, I thought maybe I´ll buy roses-

Dolores- Beep. Not good

Cell- _confused have I pushed the wrong button _? Why not ?

Dolores- Do you want that your dates thinks of herself as cheap ?

Cell-_ status of confusion grows _Wha ! Why ?

Dolores-_dramatically _The flowers (A/N: Sounds like Trelawney in some way, don´t you think ? XD)

Cell-_ status of confusion has reached its highest level does the only logical thing left: _HUH !

Dolores-_ repeats her last sentence very slowly, like when talking to a small child _the flo-wers, flo-wers

Cell- _annoyance grows, due to exepstionally not understanding _What´s the matter with this useless vegetation !

Dolores- _whispers into the phone _(A/N: Just like this guy from the sesamstreet who used to sell vowels XD) ...they´re important

Cell- _whispers back _...understand

...Break...

Cell-_ still whispers _why are we whispering, anyway ?

Dolores-_ suddenly with normal voice _No clue. You where the one that started it, though

Cell-_ slaps forehead Oh god...I´m talking with a mad man_...Ok, then go on telling me what´s so important about the flowers

Dolores-_ factual _The expressiveness of a flower is from highest importance. If you buy the wrong flowers, then you can spare your time, going to that date, and even hoping that it will end in something serious..the woman will see it in a matter of seconds..

Cell-_ is frightened a little now (of women ?) _And how am I supposed to know, which flower means what !

Dolores- _beams (of course you can see it through the phone..silly) _For this you have me

Cell-O-kay ?

Dolores- The reason why you can´t buy roses is a very simple on : EVERYONE´S buying roses for a date, and since women don´t want to be SOMEONE, it´s out of question in the first place...

Cell- _listens carefully_...yes ? Go on !

Dolores- One word :

Cell-_ really curious now _Yesh !

Dolores- _enjoyes the suspense she´d created, and so willingly waits a few more seconds_...Alpin violets

Cell-_ totally taken by surprise _HUH ! counts and this isn´t even one word, but two !

Dolores- _confident _not if you write it the way I do

...Silence...

Cell- and I should really buy them now, no kidding, yeah ?

Dolores- Yeah

Cell- O-kay...then I´ll uh...go and buy the flowers, I guess _piped down _thanks

Dolores- _for that even louder _Welcome

Cell- _hangs up_

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Note: Hope you enjoyed : ) Review !

Note 2 : After this chapter I´ll start with the date right away ; ) (If you wonder what happened to the call for 18- don´t worry, she´d been called after Cell- wisely, so that he´s still enough time to buy his flowers - I´m sure you can all guess how long a conversation can be with Dolores and 18 speaking without interruptions...yeah like that..just worse XD)


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